Well that’s a lie, they aren’t. They’re a lot of bloody hard work.  I thought it might be fun to go through the timetable for a gig.  This one is up in Scotland and it’s part of an ongoing-repeating delivery I do for a very large organisation up there. That means I won’t bore you with the way the presentation was researched, designed, and tested. It’s been getting raves for the last 18 months, so I’m pretty sure it’s okay! :)   All I’m going to do here is make a few (sad) comments about the reality of a typical professional speaker in the UK!

• Four hours drive. The scenery is stunning and the sun is shining, so it’s not all bad.  I’ll travel by train if I can but this venue isn’t easily accessible that way: that means I can’t get any work done as I travel and nor can I make any phone calls (the signal is too intermittent as I drive through the The Middle of Nowhere! :) ). To pass the time and try to gain back some work time, I listen to a couple of podcasts.
• Bed and Breakfast (and an Indian meal). Lovely place, nothing too fancy. Better a B&B than a hotel though because I can get a bit of a better feel for the local atmosphere and get a good steer about which places to avoid for my evening meal.   As it happens, I’m unlucky, because the place I’m recommended stops serving food about 30 seconds before I get there.   Off to a random Indian restaurant.  It’s not ideal, ‘cos it’s fattening, but it’s fun! :)
• Back to my room to do some research for the new presentations book. For anyone who’s into that kind of detail, the stuff I’m reading at the moment was written by the Home Office’s “Nudge Unit”… pretty fascinating stuff. Honestly!
• Some early morning stretches and exercises after a night’s sleep.  I’m on the road a lot, so getting to my gym is tricky a lot of the time. And I’m often so late at where-ever I’m sleeping that the gym in a hotel isn’t viable. My compromise is a routine my personal trainer and I worked out using an exercise band. It can be used as a replacement for most weights or resistance machines.  It’s not as good – in my opinion – but it’s a loooooot better than nothing. :)   Then undoing all the good work with a cooked breakfast!
• Checking out the venue. As always I’m there at least an hour before my punters are due so I can check the technology and so on.  This is a half day presentation for some pretty senior staff, so the audience isn’t large – but the venue looks like it’s going to be a lot of fun….. and when I say ‘fun’ I mean PITA…

Raybould’s Rule Number Two – never trust the venue… and I have to make a quick dash back to my car to pick up the emergency speakers I always carry in case the venue hasn’t got any, no matter what they say they have. There’s just time for a quick health and safety check and to go through my preparation checklist (called Ties and Flies – I leave you to guess why!) and get a cup of tea before the audience are due to start arriving and then it’s

  Showtime!

There are a few questions after the session finishes, and a few people who just want to say “thanks” and shake my hand… then it (yes, you’ve guessed it) a four our drive home. This time, no podcasts, just good ol’ rock ;)