Let me say something right from the start: I don’t believe people can learn public speaking or how to make presentations if they’re unduly anxious. That’s why our courses always have a relaxed, supportive and informal atmosphere. I like the whole ‘Consructives’ thing at Toastmasters. Got that? Good.
Thing is, having established an atmosphere like that, it’s perfectly acceptable to say “No, that wasn’t good enough”. Obviously, you only say that if you genuinely
- believe it;
- know what you’re talking about;
and preferably
- have a suggestion about how to improve things
but that doesn’t mean it’s not sometimes the right thing to say!
I have been struck recently by how bland some feedback is when it comes to presentations and so on. If I’ve made a pig’s ear of something it’s important I realise it’s a pig’s ear – otherwise how am I going to know it needs working on? It’s all very well and good saying X was good, Y was great etc. but what if Z stinks?
And while I’m ranting, why tell people their presentations was ‘good’ if it was, frankly, only ‘adequate’? To me, once we’ve established that I value your feedback and you’re not being spiteful, I absolutely need to know you’re going to tell me stuff I need to hear, not what I want to hear.
Here’s an even worse thought – could it be that the mediocrity of most public speaking means that people genuinely think that presentations are ‘great’ when the best that can objectively say of them is ‘they didn’t stink too badly’? As I’ve said before, to be relatively good all you need to be is not rubbish! :)
In the two Toastmasters clubs I was in (5-6 years total), there seemed to be the rule that you couldn’t comment on the worthiness of the speech’s content. I think they wanted to avoid controversy.
You could talk about the speech’s organization, logic, that sort of thing. But you couldn’t say “that was a stupid idea” or “I disagreed with it from start to finish” or (what I most frequently wanted to say) a la Gertrude Stein “there was no there there.”
I believe a speech has to be build around a Big Idea, and I want to be able to engage the speaker in discussing it.
I think people have such a fear of conflict that they refrain from ever giving really candid feedback.
When I give constructive feedback, I’m always amazed at the positive results it produces. It truly motivates me to keep doing it!
Also, if you become known for truly caring about other people’s growth and being honest, giving such feedback becomes significantly easier over time as well.
Cheers guys – Glad I’m not the only one who wants things to be a tad more candid and a tad less ‘tactful’…. :)