Holding eye contact is a bit of a strain for many of us. For many people, there are only a couple of reasons for looking someone straight in the eye for more than a second or so – sex or violence! Keeping eye contact makes us feel anxious and we avoid it out of ‘shyness’.
Unfortunately, not looking at your audience makes them feel you’re not interested in them, so they’re less likely to be interested in you… and in what you’ve got to say.
Today’s tip is pretty simple, really – but it takes a little time to get it right so don’t be put off if you don’t manage it straight away. The trick is this – simply soften your focus as you look at your audience: that way you don’t look at any one person in your audience necessarily, but you look at your audience as a whole. That can be a lot more comfortable for people who are anxious about their performance…..
It also has the added advantage of meaning that you’re more likely to notice if something unusual is going on in another part of the auditorium – such as someone not paying attention! :)
It sounds too simple to be true, but it’s remarkably effective. One note of caution, however… it’s important not to let yourself look simply ‘dopey’ when you soften your focus. That means you need to make sure there’s plenty of animation in your facial expressions and gestures as you do it.
Give it a go.
Hi Simon,
I have another approach. I encourage people to speak to just one person at a time and feel like they’re just having a conversation with that one person. That can help reduce their nervousness because they’re no longer speaking to an “audience” – but just to one person. It shrinks the room. It automatically has them to be animated as they seek to connect with that one person. Once they’ve completed a short phrase with that person, they then find someone else to speak to. Olivia
Hi Olivia – good to hear from you again.
I’ve used your approach in the past, often very sucessfully – what i was suggesting was more of an alternative. The reason I’m a little ‘nervous’ of a series of one-to-ones is that it can look a little artificial if it’s not done carefully: there’s a chance the speaker will end up Lighthousing.
Obviously, either technique will work well if it’s done well! :)
S